This is a SPAM email I just got:
Subject: Can you answer me soon
You may be completely unaware that a few things you’re doing in your website may be boring your visitors half to death. And a visitor who’s bored is a visitor who’s gone. I’m a Web designer, one simple secret will help you identify any snooze-inducing issue on your website and I will quickly eliminate them.
My portfolio is ready for viewing if you’re interested. Besides the price, I cater to what my client wants and that’s why my clients love the service I provide.
Let’s talk more about this at a convenient time for you. I hope to hear back from you soon.
First lesson is that subject line.
I got this email from a Jane Newman. No idea who that was, but the subject line made me open it anyway. Maybe, it was someone I’d forgot to get back to. Or, a potential client. Or, some deadline I missed.
It was a cold pitch email.
But, it got me to open it.
That’s the first thing.
Next is the message.
Now, I normally hate on (and make fun of) these things.
Because, they’re usually so awfully done.
But, this one isn’t bad.
The big thing about this one is it introduces some curiosity and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). When, I read it I actually thought, “Huh, I wonder what she thinks that this.” So, it did its job.
But, the follow-through is all wrong.
The open, too, for that matter.
And, the overall strategy, as well.
Here’s how I’d rewrite this:
That’s all you get before a visitor leaves your website. And, based on studies from KissMetrics, there are four big reasons why a visitors will leave before that 59 seconds is up.
Know what they are?
Better yet, how to fix them?
That’s where I come in. I’m a web designer that specializes in site usability and I help website owners find and fix the problems that are driving visitors away. Reduce bounce rate, increase stickiness and boost conversions.
Your website may have these problems.
It may not.
But, my job is to tell you if it does and fix them for you, if so.
I offer a no-cost consultation in order to find out. And, competitive rates for re-designing your site, if necessary. You can see my portfolio and client list for yourself at: http://website.com
Give it a look and then get in touch with me.
And, I’ll give your website “the treatment”, too.
Now, cold pitch emails like this are going to have incredibly low success rates, no matter what you write. You could be offering people free Lamborghinis and most people aren’t going to respond.
But, if you’re gonna send these things out, use the second one.
You’ll, almost assuredly, have better luck with it.
But, the challenge for you is to figure why email #2 is better.
Understand the principles behind it.
That’s how you truly learn…
And, go beyond the “hacks” and gimmicks…
All the frat boys love to blog about these days.
Of course, if you’d rather just have the clients come to you, then get your butt over to SkillShare and take my Upwork 101 course. It’s 3 hours and 31 minutes crammed full of showing how to get clients to chase YOU.
Whether you use Upwork or not.
Link is here: https://skl.sh/2hfGS0s