I can’t stop my daughter from making racist comments

Came across this absolute gem the other day:

My 6-year-old daughter has beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. She gets compliments regularly from people on how pretty she is and basks in the attention. She attends a small private school and there is a little boy in her class who is black.

He is sweet, well-mannered, and has a great sense of humor. His parents are lovely people. The problem is that over the last two years my daughter has been making comments about people’s skin, particularly addressed to this little boy.

These comments are along the lines of, “I don’t want to sit by him because he has dark skin.” Her teacher and I have sat down to discuss this with her and explain that this behavior is unacceptable to no avail.

The other day she watched the beginning of Love Actually with me and she commented that the interracial couple shouldn’t be getting married because they don’t look right together.

Obviously my method of teaching her to treat everyone equally and be accepting of all different people is not working. Her school is getting more concerned, although they know I am trying my best to combat it.

Do I just hope she grows out of this, or is there something else I can do?

This was from the Dear Prudence advice column…

And her answer is a master class in managing clients.

Here’s an excerpt:

What a win-win this is for an attention-loving child. Usually she can just show up, and like a quokka, know that there will be oohs and ahs at the pleasure of gazing upon her. But since her classmates and teachers are accustomed to her looks, she may find school less gratifying. Then one day she stumbles upon the realization that if she says something awful about the color of a classmate’s

skin, a stunning amount of attention comes her way.

Molly McDonald, a family therapist in Connecticut, says to think of her comments as being equivalent to a tantrum and thus best ignored. She says once the original explanation that everyone deserves to be respected didn’t extinguish the behavior, the continuing focus on your daughter’s transgressions became a kind of fuel.

Boy does that describe some of the clients I’ve worked with over the years.

Remind me to tell you about ASAP Charlie some day.

That guy… woof!

Anyway, what you just read is a first-class lesson in handling clients.

Let me give you an example…

Whenever a client first reaches out inquiring about hiring me, they always want to jump on a call. Many of them, in fact, will just name a time and expect (because I’m supposedly desperate for the job) that I’ll show up.

I’d imagine most freelancers do.

Not me.

I like to play with my food. 😀

I always say no to the first time they mention. Why? Because I’m thinking beyond the “sale”. I’m think about actually working with this person and I want them used to me saying “no” to them.

Because that’s something that will happen a lot when they work with me.

I also want to set the expectation that my time is valuable and I’m not there to answer their every beck and call. I also want to make sure they know I have other clients and other commitments.

That I’m in demand.

And, I could go and on.

Point is… that one little tactic has a whole slew of benefits for me both during and AFTER that sale. As a result, I rarely have a client not hire me when I jump on a call with them. And, if it does happen, it’s usually because *I* turn down the project.

And, there’s a bunch of other ways I toy with my clients…

To get and keep them in line.

(For example, a few of my clients are on my mailing list and read these emails… and hear me rap about all the little tricks I use on them. 😀 And, I don’t care. They know coming in what I do… they don’t like it, they can hit the road!)

But, that’s the power of tactic derived from real-world experience…

And dozens of interviews with potential clients.

And, having worked with famous clients who think they’re king s***.

One simple change in how you act makes all the difference.

And THIS is the kind of stuff I show you in my Premium Pricing For Freelancers course… a series of simple, little tactics that make all the difference and can help you find and land the “big fish” clients in your market.

Here’s a few of the things you’ll learn inside:

The “Microsoft Method” for finding premium clients. You can go on Google right now and find a nearly endless list of premium clients with this method — and yet, almost no one does it. I’ll show you how.

If you’re a web developer, a red-hot service you can start offering now and immediately start charging premium prices for.

A clever way to use your competitors testimonials to sell YOUR services.

The “non-sensical” reason premium clients *want* to pay more for your services and how to package and present yours to attract these kinds of clients.

The marquee difference between a regular, ho-hum service and a premium service — this one simple criteria can turn almost any deliverable into a high-end service.

Three questions you must be able to answer in order to charge premium prices

The old-school automation software that can help you zero in on the premium clients desperate for good freelancers… that are all around you.

If you’re a writer, I’ll show you a service one of my clients recently paid $15,000 for (zero promises that you can charge the same, but it’s a great example of how to take a regular service and turn it into a premium one).

The ugly, 90s-era website where you can find a nearly endless supply of premium clients.

A simple packaging mistake that makes clients immediately overlook your services and how to re-configure what you offer to stand out and make clients pay attention to you.

If you’re tired of dealing with clients who constantly obsess over price, this training has been helping a lot of other freelancers learn how to charge more and land those “big fish” clients… and it might just do the same for you.

If you’re interested, all the info is here:



You might also like

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on pinterest
John Morris


I’m a 15-year veteran of freelance web development. I’ve worked with bestselling authors and average Joe’s next door. These days, I focus on helping other freelancers build their freelance business and their lifestyles.

The simple secrets to high-paying freelance clients

What makes clients willing to pay $5,000, $10,000 even $20,000 and up for your services? Download and install my mobile app and I’ll show you. It’s free. Just click the button below:

Clients Like:

Inc. Magazine Logo
Lewis Howes Logo
Ray Edwards Logo


Jim DeJonge

Jim DeJonge

John has a relaxed and engaging manner. His advice is solid and the explanations are well thought out.

Chris Aitken

He significantly improved my site through his expert knowledge of PHP, CSS and Javascript. Would definitely recommend John to others.

Sukh Plaha

John is a fantastic and patient tutor, who is not just able to share knowledge and communicate it very effectively – but able to support one in applying it. However, I believe that John has a very rare ability to go further than just imparting knowledge and showing one how to apply it. He is able to innately provoke one’s curiosity when explaining and demonstrating concepts, to the extent that one can explore and unravel their own learning journey. Thanks very much John!

Ray Edwards

I recommend John every chance I get. If every person I worked with were as committed to excellence, punctuality, value, and unquestionable integrity… the world would be a better place. Highest recommendation.

Oliver Wainwright

Oliver Wainwright

I’m a fan. I have completed several of John’s courses. I find him very knowledgeable and he has a great delivery.

Lori Grant

John did an outstanding job on my project. I highly recommend him and look forward to working with him on future projects.

Aaron Gott

Aaron Gott

John has a particular knack for the development and training of others.

Steve Dimmick

Steve Dimmick

John has provided expert knowledge and advice on multiple occasions that have helped me better serve my clients. John is a Rockstar!

Michael Skye

Michael Skye

John is a man of integrity, who gives generously of himself to projects and people he cares about.

Jason Rumley

Jason Rumley

John has a habit of over-delivering on the expectations he sets up. That’s why he’s the best.

Daniel Mohlendick

On the Freelancing on Upwork course: “This is by far the best course i have watched on Skillshare!! Thank you so much.”

Lewis Howes

John is amazing at building membership sites. He converted one of my sites over from it’s existing (hardly working) platform over to the clean and simple to use WishList membership platform. I highly recommend using John and WishList for any of your membership site needs.

Andrew Malone

Andrew Malone

John Morris is exceptional in his ability to give focused insight into Freelancing and starting one’s business. His direct methods inspire confidence in his honesty.