I got this question from Tim:
“Staying focused and effective in business under extreme external pressure?”
When I asked what he meant by “extreme external pressure”, he said:
“[An] ex-wife who burned everything down. Ruined my closest business and personal relationships, and put me into complete financial ruin. With intent. So deep DEEP financial and personal stress has left me flailing and I am a month and a half into my first real opportunity for recovery. I feel a lack of clarity as to the best course of action to push my head above water for good. To focus on the work (which I am damn good at) instead of the stay alive struggle.”
This one hits close to home for me.
My pain was dealing with feeling like I’d abandoned my oldest son when his mom and I got divorced coupled with this gnawing feeling inside of me that I was meant for more than pizza boy or telemarketer.
It’s hard to keep focused…
And, not let these things consume you.
But, here’s what I do.
I just keep saying, “Left”.
That might not make sense, at first, but let me tell you where it comes from. As you may know, I was in the Army for 10 years. And, during Basic Training, one of the final “events” before you graduate is a road march.
What they don’t tell you is it’s meant as a test of your mental toughness.
We’d done road marches before, but nothing like this.
We were up and marching before the sun came up and we marched long after the sun went back down. In full combat gear, 40-pound rucksack. At about hour 3, the straps from the rucksack started to feel like knives slicing into my shoulders.
By hour 5, I was arguing with myself about quitting…
And, getting recycled all the way back through the 9 weeks of Basic Training.
By hour 7, I didn’t even have the energy to do that.
At some point, my mind just stopped. All the false motivation, all the little “tricks” to get myself to keep moving, all the debating… it all just stopped. And, all that was left me and the next step I had to take.
Yes or no.
Yes or no.
Yes or no.
And, what I did was I just kept saying “Left” every time my left foot hit the ground, just like we did when we marched in formation. “Left, left, left.” And, I just focused on that. That one next step.
And eventually, it ended. We rounded the corner to an open field.
There was a big bonfire waiting for us.
We took off all our gear.
And, celebrated because that was our last test.
And, that’s it. All you can do is focus on the very next step in front of you. People make the mistake of thinking focus is about will power. It’s not. It’s about motion. You take one step, the next one becomes more clear.
And another and another…
With each one, you become more focused.
Staying focused becomes more natural.
And before you know it, you’re sprinting.
So, you just gotta keep moving. Don’t think about everything that’s happened. None of that matters NOW. You have the hand you’ve been dealt, now you have to play it. Don’t think about the next 100 steps in front of you.
You don’t even know what most of those are.
And, they’ll change along the way.
What’s the best step you can take RIGHT NOW with the information you have.
And then, step.
NOW, what’s the next best step I can take?
And, the next… and, the next.
That’s how I live my life.
And that’s how I stay focused.
And, ignore everything else swirling around me.
And, it’s worked pretty damn well, so far.
So, there you go.
Take that for what it’s worth.
If you have a question, you’d like me to answer, just leave me a comment below and I’ll do my best to answer it.