Towards the end of my deployment to Iraq, my first wife and I decided to get divorced. That’s a story for another day, but I suddenly found myself back in the dating world after four years of being off the market.
Older.
A young son.
And, a lot more insecure given the divorce.
So, I did what most introverts do when faced with a problem… I googled it. Makes me chuckle now, but this was the mid-2000s and the whole PUA (pick-up artist), online dating and “seduction” industry was booming online.
And so, I found myself tumbling down the rabbit hole.
A lot of weird stuff.
Stuff I’d never dare try.
Stuff I tried and it failed miserably.
And, a few things that weren’t completely insane and actually worked when I tried them. One such “technique” was called the “Neg”. The idea is pretty simple actually and does work… although, you gotta be careful.
It only applies when you’re dealing with someone good-looking.
And, who likely hears how good-looking they are all the time.
If you approach that person and tell them how handsome or beautiful they are… just like everyone else… it doesn’t make you stand out in any way. In fact, that person is likely to dismiss you immediately.
And, relegate you to the “loser” pile.
So, the “Neg” is when you approach them and instead of complimenting them, you say something negative about them… in a teasing/joking way. I had this dumb one I did. Dumb, but it worked.
And, I could always use it at a bar.
So, I’d see a female drinking something that wasn’t healthy — beer, pop, whatever. And I’d say, “You know that’ll make you fat… (pause) …er” with an ornery smile. Lol. I know. Stupid. But, you’d be surprised how well it worked.
Because, you’re not just slobbering all over them like everyone else.
In any case, as I started freelancing, I adapted this to working with clients. Whenever I came across a client’s project description or got an email about a project, I’d look for something wrong that I could point out.
And, when I messaged them back, I’d say “Hey, btw, you’re wrong about…”
Whatever it was.
And, again, as dumb as it sounds… it worked. I can’t tell you how many “I appreciate you being candid”, “Thank you for being honest” and the like I got from doing that one thing.
And, of course, hired as a result.
It works because it generates authenticity and authority at the same time. Most other freelancers are slobbering over them, telling them everything they want to hear… and, the client KNOWS it.
Telling them they’re wrong is jarring.
Different.
And, to be respected (IF done right).
You also create authority. You establish that YOU are the one that is the expert on the topic. And, you’re not afraid to speak up and say something. And, these two things combined, authenticity and authority…
If you can get both, you’ll have no problem getting hired.
In any case, one little trick I learned in my 15 years of freelancing that has worked well for me. Do with it what you will. Of course, there’s a bunch of these little things, that make a big difference, I’ve learned in all that time.
And, a year or so ago, I decided to package them all up and put them in a course to help other freelancers start and grow your freelance business. If you want to “pick my brain” and learn what I’ve learned that’s made the difference, you can grab a copy of the course on Udemy here: https://johnmorrisonline.com/freelanceonudemy.
No, it’s not magic.
Won’t suddenly make all your problems vanish. But, can shortcut the learning curve. And, fatten your wallet a little faster than otherwise. At least, in my not-so-humble opinion.
Later,
John
P.S. You can also get access to all my courses, including this one, for FREE on Skillshare. To learn how, go here: https://johnmorrisonline.com/skillshare
